Living Afraid

Living afraid is no fun at all.

It’s almost like, I’m running wild. Naked & afraid.

Living afraid, is just the equivalent of constantly looking over my shoulder.

I look over my left shoulder,

I look over my right shoulder,

Just waiting for the right time to finally stop running.

Living afraid has got me trapped in a cage,

A cage where I’m contemplating, if it’s better to stay in or come out.

Living afraid has me stuck in this unforeseen battle.

The battle of my mind,

The battle over my soul,

The battle between, the spirit & flesh.

Good & evil.

God & the enemy.

Living afraid has actually caused me to be afraid of loving you.

Loving you,

You being my Father,

The one who created me, from THEE very beginning.

Living afraid has actually been causing me to go completely insane.

God bless,

God help me,

like Summer said, I think I’m going insane.

I’m in a constant war where I’m constantly am feeling defeated.

Defeated, by my arch foe,

I’m throwing in the towel.

But the warrior who’s already won this fight,

Is telling me to get back up. Get back up He says. For this battle is not yours, but it is mine.

But I need you to keep showing up.

Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid to live.

Stop being afraid to die.

In me you have life.

That life, I have given you, to the full.

I’ve been living afraid.

I’ve been living afraid.

I’ve been living afraid.

Been afraid that, if I make one false move,

He’ll take me down.

But get back, get back, you don’t even know me like that.

You may think you know. But you have no idea.

But maybe you do, maybe you don’t.

It would appear that you know way more than I do.

You seem to know much more about this power that dwells within me, than I know for myself.

You know, the power of the Holy Spirit, that dwells within me.

Because He that is in me, is greater than he that is in the world.

I’ve been living so afraid, that if I take 1 step forward,

I may end up taking 10 steps back.

I’ve been living so afraid that if I make a move,

That’s the wrong move,

Will it cause me to go back into a trap.

A trap, to trap me, back into this cage.

I’ve been living so afraid that,

If I lose this battle, will I be able to fight & get back up again.

We fall down, but we get up.

I’ve been living so afraid that, once I start to experience life, will that very same life, that you said I can have to the full, will it be taken away from me.

After that mishap,

After that mistake,

After coming out of this cage,

After coming out of this bondage that’s known as Egypt.

Will you take it all away Father?

Cause I’ve been living so afraid , that I haven’t been able to live for you.